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In an apparent first, the latest investment forecast from the Wall Street giant Goldman Sachs states that the sky is falling. Goldman analyst Chuck N. Little stated, "We do not feel there is a need for panic because, you know, we at Goldman Sachs are indoors and all, but investors need to be aware of the sky's descent, and invest accordingly." Goldman's current Recommended List includes shares of roof repair companies, along with helmet manufacturers. Goldman foresees problems for airlines in the lowering sky, however, and has a Sell rating.

A spokesman for the Obama administration denied that the sky was falling, or likely to fall. "Certainly, we have seen the sky lowering at an accelerating rate, and some taller folks have had to crouch. But to state that it is falling is simply not justified. Chunks of blue have been found on the ground only in isolated areas. Further, we have created a new bailout program to buy up these chunks and lift them back to higher elevations. Eventually our investment in blue chunks should make money for the American taxpayer. And remember, the sky was already in a precariously low state when we inherited it from the Bush administration."

Senate Republicans opposed any sky bailout. "The sky must be allowed to find its own level in a free market," stated Senator Mitch McConnell. "When the government starts deciding the proper height, that's Socialism."

Insurance giant AIG said it was taking all available precautions against a falling sky, primarily by giving out more bonuses.

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Additional Photos by Ken Alexander (kensimage) Gold Star Critiquer/Silver Workshop Editor/Gold Note Writer [C: 1087 W: 39 N: 1167] (8563)
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